After 10 years of teaching the Shadow Process I am still awed to witness the power that we each hold and the wisdom that lies beneath the surface of our consciousness. I never lead the process without being in it myself because I know that I can only take people where I too am willing to go. If I decide that I've "made it" and I'm "there", whatever that means, then, of course, I am modeling to the workshop participants that one day they will get "there" too, wherever "there" is to them. But the truth is that "there" is now, and "there" is really nowhere to get to if you are missing the moment, with all its gifts and all its precious wisdom. Most of us are still on the chase for "One day, someday I will have my real, great life" - giving our power away to a future which may or may not come. Most of us live in this state of consciousness on a daily basis. And with enough repetition, this "one day, someday" fantasy world begins to seem like reality because, as you know, our beliefs create our realities.

So why am I being so intense about this? Because today is the day to wake up and realize that life is short, moments are precious. And you must do whatever is possible to peel away the trauma of the past, the disappointments, the regrets, the hurt, and the pain so you can be inyour life right now with a new future in front of you. You must - and I mean must - give it to yourself no matter what your excuses might be for staying stuck or for why you can't. You can and you must. Yes, it might take a little finagling to get the help and support that you need, but it's time to move it to the front of the line, the top of the priority list.

It's time to stop worrying about everyone around you and begin to focus on you. If you live a great, fulfilling, and extraordinary life, everyone who is supposed to be helped by you will get what they need. Just watching you thrive will radically alter their lives and give them the hope and inspiration that they need to handle their own challenges.

So what are your excuses? Most of us talk about them all the time: "I don't have enough money, I don't have the education or credentials that I need, I'm too old, she broke my heart, he said he would take care of me." We buy into our excuses and believe them to be the truth. We stop moving forward and start driving ourselves crazy by running around in repetitive circles, blaming others or life, refusing to see our part in the circumstances we're creating, refusing to learn the lessons in front of us, and going nowhere fast.

Who are you still blaming??? God, your mother, your ex, your kids, your teachers, your government? WHO? Blame is the nasty little infection that keeps you stuck in the past. It is a virus and if you don't detect it in its latent state, you will catch it. Many of you already have it and just haven't had it properly diagnosed! Blame is the weapon that perpetuates the internal wars just the same way it causes external wars. "I'm RIGHT and you're WRONG" is the global anthem of the Blame Game. "You did it to me, so I can now use it as an excuse to stay where I am and not maximize my full potential." Even if it is true that you have been wronged - because in this lifetime you will be - you have to digest the experiences and learn the lessons, even if they are hard ones to swallow. As they say in the Hoffman Process, "Everyone is guilty and there is no one to blame."

SO STOP IT TODAY. Stop pointing your finger, stop wishing and wanting your life to be different. This is your life. It may never get any better than this, so NOW how are you going to be great? This is the challenge. And ultimately, if you want to live an inspiring and satisfying life, if you want to go to your grave all used up and happy, you have to have the COURAGE to move on with your life.

Remember how we began today, "There" is here, and here is now. There is nowhere to get to. It is confirmed each and every time I lead the Shadow Process. People come in looking old, tired, and beaten down. You can see the dullness in their eyes, see the shlump in their shoulders, and feel the resignation that overlays the passion of their souls. And then gradually, as the unhealed hurt gets exposed, they begin to radically shift the way they view the past. How do they do it? They do it by finding its blessings, extracting the wisdom from their pain, and sharing their experiences. And then voila. Three days later, we deliver back into the world bright shiny faces, twinkling eyes, open hearts, and impassioned spirits. Three days without anything in their outer world changing yet everything in their inner world healing.

Accept that you are hurt and that you have been wronged. Stop trying to have it be any different than it is, and you will have the power to heal your hurt.

Some of you don't even know that you're hurt. You might just feel angry or sad, but ultimately what's underneath that is hurt. Almost everyone that I've met has been wounded, traumatized, scammed, betrayed, and hurt. Most of us have experienced loss, whether it is loss of love, a loved one, a job opportunity, loss of perfect health, or our chance at being a parent. We all have our different versions of loss and the grief that comes with it. This is life. But if we do not choose to find the wisdom, the gold in the dark, we will miss out on the beauty that exists all around us.

So acknowledge your hurt, your pain, and your disappointment. Don't cover it up or pretend it's not there. Give yourself a week or a month to grieve. CHOOSE to be a loving parent to yourself today, treating yourself with kindness and compassion. And then reach out to a friend with this same depth of kindness and compassion. This is the road to peace...in the inner world and the outer world.

Thank You,

Carmine Torella