Dear Graduate,

Hurt is an inevitable part of being alive. All of us have patterns and blind spots out of which we do and have done harm. And it has been done to us, sometimes with intention, sometimes without. And, all of us also have within us a Spiritual Self whose essence is love. We are both.

 

When we hold ourselves, or another, in the prison of our grudges, it keeps out the light. We lose sight of the Spiritual Self, and see only the Dark Side – ours, or that of the other. We are caught in shame or blame. However, forgiving doesn’t mean condoning the acts, or pretending it didn’t hurt or didn’t happen. Nor does forgiving mean losing healthy boundaries, or, in the case of our own misdeeds, disowning accountability or neglecting to take action to repair.

 

“Forgive and forget” is a pattern that sets us up to hurt or be hurt again. As Steven Levine says, “You can throw someone out of your house, but don’t throw them out of your heart.” With those who have hurt you, cultivate compassionate, yet mindful awareness of the wounded child within who is acting from Negative Love patterns, and hold the boundaries you need. Also remember the Spiritual Self that is within, and with whom you have no quarrel, and forgive the human being who struggles.

 

The same is true for yourself. Forgive yourself. And commit to being mindfully and compassionately aware of the power of your patterns to hurt others. In so doing, you can take responsibility for your life, recognize mistakes, and act to repair damage where necessary.

 

When we can forgive ourselves and others for our own humanity, mistakes and all, the hurtful criticisms and judgments of others find less of a hook or a resonance with our own inner voice of self-recrimination. And when we can see the hurts and insults as coming from the wounded child of another, it feels far less personal. With forgiveness of self and other, there is more peace, more equanimity, more compassion, more love.  Bob Hoffman said, “Everyone is guilty, no one is to blame.” Forgive, and lift the burden of grudges and guilt from your shoulders, and the shoulders of those you have hurt or who have hurt you.

 

Today’s action step: Schedule 30 minutes in your calendar this week to take a Self-Forgiveness & Self-Love Walk. Instructions are included in the attachment. Next, watch the inspiring Kindness Boomerang – “Revolution of Love”

·      https://youtu.be/4o2B7j4ZXiA

 

Next step: Download the attachment for additional action items and more.

Your next weekly honk will be sent on Monday!  

Love & Light,
Your Hoffman Teaching Team